KILL THE FIRE

It's true, it's not what you think. It never is. Ten times out of nine you think you're right you're only sort of there. Stress is like a weird goblin waiting to find out what you least expect/want/need and then just sorta collapses it like a tent of despair thinking Damn, I got 'im now! Well HA! This tent is breathable and water-resistant and 


Being alive is like having a cramp in your groin that sometimes goes away. When Leland decided she wasn't much for work-out videos she started eating less and a lot of good that did her. She lost her ass and made stupid friends. That was a year ago, now she's sitting at the end of Main St. near the water craving intelligent conversation. By intelligent conversation I don't think she means NPR comedy stoicism but just someone listening to her say 'I love Britney Spears and Sinatra' and going "Yeah, I get that."


LEIA is out there right now in the cold brandishing edge and keeping the wolves at bay while I sit in front of the space heater (Dear Space Heater I Have Missed You SO) safely contemplating my return to glory. LEIA while yes, named of famed golden bikini babe, disacknowledges the joke and perseveres against hard rain and selfish women taunts the demons that crawl beyond our spectral vision. Captive in bolted steel her wrath is not contained but measurable. I painted her to keep her safe.


There was a time when I really was invincible. When I was like 5. Before I understood and gained the temporal prowess to re-attach feeling, understanding, anger, and memory. I still remember my brain going feverish relentless at single thoughts, like a cat being held tight for a bath. (Dammit I do NOT want to update Adobe Reader right now. QUIT. Stop popping up and down like you're something sexy or alcoholic.) I wonder if I will have the same backthought when I'm like 60? Well, 60 is pretty assumptuous. 45. I wonder if at 45 and about to be hit by a speeding Vanagon I'll re-re-attach any multitude of educated feeling to the experiences I'm putting myself through now. Best not to tempt Fate, but really, what's Fate going to say? "I told you so?"


These are the lyrics to my favourite Beach Boys song, "Let's Do It Again". The Beach Boys are in my top 5 favourite bands of all time.

IT'S AUTOMATIC WHEN I TALK WITH OLD FRIENDS. THE CONVERSATION TURNS TO GIRLS WE KNEW WHEN THEIR HAIR WAS SOFT AND LONG AND THE BEACH WAS THE PLACE TO GO. SUNTANNED BODIES AND WAVES OF SUNSHINE. THE CALIFORNIA GIRLS AND A BEAUTIFUL COASTLINE, WARMED UP WEATHER. LET'S GET TOGETHER AND DO IT AGAIN. WITH A GIRL THE LONELY SEA LOOKS GOOD IN THE MOONLIGHT, MAKES YOUR NIGHT-TIMES WARM AND OUT OF SIGHT. BEEN SO LONG, HEY NOW HEY NOW. WE'LL I'VE BEEN PLACES WE'VE SURFED AND DANCED AND ALL THE FACES WE'VE MISSED SO LET'S GET BACK TOGETHER AND DO IT AGAIN. Ow!

The beat is great I recommend a full listen at top volume. I mean TOP. VOLUME.
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Written by RALEIGHXXX at 12:24:00 AM

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